Her name is Che’Lyn Fullmer, but her last name used to be Crapo. I first noticed her the end of my eighth grade, she ran for student body class president. Sadly, I didn’t vote for her. I had only lived in Saint Anthony for a year, so I didn’t know her until I started high school.
Then, she had to re-take the first semester of Spanish 1 eighth hour: the same hour as I did. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She was smart, confident, fun and all the things I wanted to be. Her eyes were big and beautiful; actually every part of her was gorgeous. Most importantly, Che’ felt familiar.
Che’Lyn played Rosie Alvarez in the fall musical, Bye Bye Birdie. I loved it. She couldn’t have been better. Her face and voice was always on my mind. The Saturday after seeing the play, I wrote her a letter. Actually I didn’t. The Holy Ghost guided my hand. I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. With every word, I felt a burning fire inside my chest.
The weekend was way too long. She wouldn’t get the letter until Monday and I didn’t have class until Tuesday. Actually I saw her walking around the Commons, but she didn’t see me.
I got to class early that day. My heart was thumping. The, Che’Lyn came in. She put her things on her desk and ran over to m.
“Your letter made my week. I had all my family read it. You don’t know what that meant to me,” Che’Lyn whispered as she hugged me. I was so happy. I hadn’t been happy in so long. This move was so hard for me. I had no friends and now I had a best friend. Che’Lyn saved me. Turns out, Che’ wasn’t happy either. She was graduating early because she hated high school. People were so mean to her. Che’ had went through the depression I was still in. We brought each other out.
I know that I was supposed to meet Che’Lyn. We really did know each other before this Earth. I knew everything about her before we even met. I worshipped Che’Lyn. I spent two weeks after she graduated in tears. Almost every great thing that has happened to me since, I can trace back to this experience.
I would have the testimony of promptings from the Holy Ghost that I have. Look, where it got me. Now, I make quiet time to listen for Him. I know He will lead me. I need him. It is hard to completely trust Him. Many times, I question it. Then, I remember Che’Lyn.
If I didn’t have a testimony of the Holy Ghost, I probably would have had this next experience. To take the tears away, the Lord prompted, well demanded, that I needed to talk to Chari Bennett. Now, I really didn’t know anything about Chari, except that she was junior, cheerleader, and the principal’s daughter. Che’Lyn liked her, despite what everyone else said. One day, I just did it. We were the only people in the hallway. I just told her, “I think you are so great!” She turned to me crying. Chari had been praying for someone to love her. After that, we talked everyday. I also would have my job because Chari’s sister-in-law owns the business.
I never would have experienced Junior Miss. Both Chari and Che’Lyn did it. Their moms were in charge of it. Yes, I did it for me, but I wanted to be like them. It was one of the best decisions I made in high school.
Junior Miss
“Is money really the only reason why you aren’t doing Junior Miss?” My good friend, Susan Crapo asked.
“Yes,” I answered. I didn’t think that anything would come of it. To be honest, I just said it to quiet Susan. Not only was she in charge of it, but she was pretty much my adopted mom.
“Someone came to me with something for you. A businessman wants to pay for you to do Junior Miss. They want to give you $1500.” Cathie Shirley said over the phone.
I couldn’t believe her words. Why would someone do this? Wow. Someone loves me. A huge decision suddenly laid before me.
When I prayed, I prayed to convince Mom and Dad. I already knew that I was going to do Junior Miss; I only lacked the confidence to say it out loud. The funny thing is that Mom and Dad were saying to each other, “I think Kayla is going to do Junior Miss.”
Eventually, I told them. By this time, my prayer had been answered; they were excited.
“I know what you should do for your talent. You should sign the song,” Love in any Language.” Mom said. While we lived in Oregon, a friend of ours taught it to me.
“That’s a great idea, but we don’t have the son. How would I get it?” I asked.
“Well, we can find Emily’s address and write her,” Mom answered. This started a long Google Search to find our old friend, Emily Jensen. Eventually, we did find. Emily took a very long time to get it back to us though.
While I was waiting for Emily to get back to me, I heard Susan describing a talent she saw at another program. “You mean I could do a slide show of my drawings?” I asked excitedly.
“Of course, is that what you want to do?” Susan asked.
“Definitely!” I was so happy. Over the next couple of months, I picked out my best drawings and scanned them. Mrs. Ritter, my art teacher, helped me arrange them. I wrote a funny little poem talking about my love of drawing and how I could about doing it.
Junior Miss is really hard work. There are so many practices and routines. I am not good at routines. All I did was practice. The practices were my connection to the other girls. I lived for Junior Miss. I knew that I would be good at the interview, so every night my mom would quiz me. During our mock interviews, I got rave reviews, Many people told me I would win interview.
I didn’t win interview. In fact, I didn’t win anything. I had a blast though. Everyone told me that they were so proud of me. Tears fill my eyes as I remember. I was the proudest of them all. There are so many more details I should write about that night, but it was the journey that changed me.
I don’t remember the first time my parents started talking about moving from Mountain Home. Once they did, they couldn’t stop.
“We are going to make a covenant with Heavenly Father. We are going to do certain things to better our lives and in turn we are going to ask Him for things.” Mom said. Soon, a piece of paper folded hot dog style was hanging in my parent’s room. On one side was a list of what we were going to do like pay off Dad’s student loans and go to the temple twice a month. These experiences required sacrifice from the entire family. The other list asked that we be able to own the house we would live in, have enough money live and such. I was so angry. I knew we had to move, but I didn’t want to.
It took almost a year before I started to believe in it.
“There’s a job opening up at BYUI. You should check it out.” Aunt Cheryl said. Her and Uncle Bryan were visiting us between FFA events. Dad politely told them he wasn’t interested. It didn’t sound right to either one of my parents.
For some reason, Dad looked into it anyway. The Agriculture Resource Manager was in charge of the farm and the Livestock Center. The salary would be about $35,000/year. A requirement would be that we lived at the Live Stock Center in the house there. It definitely didn’t sound right.
For some reason, Dad applied. Then, things started to change. We wouldn’t have to live at the Livestock Center. One night, Mom was extremely worried. Would we really have enough money to support seven kids? It was really weighing her down. The very next chapter Mom was reading in the Book of Mormon was 3rd Nephi 29. Verses 1-3 read:
“And now behold, I say unto you that when the Lord shall see fit, in his wisdom, that these sayings shall come unto the Gentiles according to his word, then ye may know that the covenant which the Father hath made with the children of Israel, concerning their restoration to the lands of their inheritance, is already beginning to be fulfilled.
And ye may know that the words of the Lord, which have been spoken by the holy prophets shall all be fulfilled; and ye need not say that the Lord delays his coming unto the children of Israel.
And ye need not imagine in your hearts that the words which have been spoken are vain, for behold, the Lord will remember his covenant which he hath made unto his people of the house of Israel.”
He did remember the covenant he made with us. Everything was fulfilled. We even have a new temple to live by. We are happy. Our house is ours. We have enough money. This was the right place.
The summer after I graduated high school, I swear no one could think of anything interesting to talk to me about. All that they could ask was “Where are going to college?’ “What’s your major going to be?” “Do you have a job yet?” That last one was the one that I hated the most. I guess it was the only one that I didn’t have a good answer for. The questions could not stop coming. It got to the point where I just expected.
I remember it very well. It was the day of the Pioneer Day Parade in Saint Anthony, which is a very big day. We have our spot at Horsey Park. So, do many of our friends. It’s like Church everyone sits in the same spots every year. This year I saw my friend Heather Bennett playing with her boys before the parade started. She used to be my YW leader when we were in the same ward. I love her. I went over to say hi and just randomly spit out the words, “And I don’t have a job yet. “
I remember being totally shocked that I said it. It was completely unprovoked. Then, she turned to me and said, “Well, if you don’t have anything in the Fall check back with me. I might have something for you.”
I couldn’t believe it. I was so excited. I had no idea what I was going to do for her.
It got time for school to start and well I didn’t have a job yet. She actually called me up and said, “Do you still not have a job?” I answered yes. “You’re hired. We have a staff meeting tonight.” I still had no idea what I was going to do, but I said yes.
Turns out, she was starting a Developmental Therapy Agency. I really didn’t know what I was doing. It was all based on intuition, but I did it. It seemed to come natural to me. I love the kids that I work with so incredibly much. I truly love them as much as I can without being their own mother. I have learned to be patient. I have learned to serve. I have learned how to fight for my kids. I have learned how to teach. I have learned how to love. I have learned how to have the Spirit with me at all times. I have learned not to judge people. I have made the most amazing friends. I have had the most amazing experiences because of Excellence in Everyone, the DDA I have worked for. I truly believe that I am supposed to be involved with the special needs community for the rest of my life. I can’t believe that the Lord lets me be involved with their lives.
So, this semester I took the required travel class to San Francisco. I went with Brother Griffin, Brother Geddes and Sister Jimison. I was so excited. This had been truly the worst semester of my life. I needed this break. The first night that we were in San Francisco, I did something incredibly stupid. I knew better, but I did it anyway. I left my DSLR camera and my wallet in the van while we went into the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I just did it without thinking.
When we got back to the vans, we discovered that the front windows of the vans were bashed in. I was sitting in the back and my camera and my wallet was stolen. I was so humiliated. I felt so stupid. I hated myself so much that night. I was being lectured by myself and students. It was so incredibly awful. The one person that I felt safe with was Sister Jimison. I felt loved with her. Actually, she really didn’t know me at all. But, I needed a mom.
I told the girls that I was rooming with that I needed her. So, we went searching through the rooms for her. She gave me the biggest hug I have ever had. I cried and I cried. I admitted things to her that I hadn’t admitted to anybody. I felt so loved and I felt so understood. I never feel like that. I have been going through depression for so long.
During the hours I spent talking to her that night, I also told her about the semester. My education teacher told me that he wouldn’t let me student teach because I wasn’t ready. I told her that I felt so small. I felt so trapped. I felt so much anxiety about myself. I felt so troubled and that I would never get better. She told me that I didn’t need to feel trapped that I could change my major to Integrated Studio Arts.
It was just an idea when she said it. I really didn’t take her seriously. I did know that she knew just about everything though. I came back from San Francisco and my Education teacher called me in. I left crying and shaking again. I felt so small. I was so incredibly stressed. Then, I heard Sister Jimison’s voice saying, “You don’t have to do this. You can do Integrated Studio Arts. Suddenly, it became okay. Suddenly, I felt peace. Suddenly, I knew I was changing. I didn’t know if the University would let me change. The credit limit is a problem, but they did. I am where I am supposed to be.
I love Sister Jimison so much. I know that she was the person I needed right there. I know that we were friends before this Earth life. I love her so much. I am thankful that I had my camera stolen.
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